Repeating
by Deathly Betrayal
Summary: Growing up just pushed us apart.


**A/N) I don't... know. **

**Implications of suicide, yo. Turn away if you can't stand that. Don't want to be triggering anyone regardless of how likely it is.**

**High school! AU.**

**Please note that Lucia is Luminous' sister rather than mother in this one. :U**

* * *

Stepping up onto the old, creaky stairs that hadn't been repaired in a very long while, I made my way to the rooftop, in the slow, unworried way that I have every morning before classes started. Why I liked it there, I wouldn't know – I just liked it up there.

It was truly the only place I could honestly call 'peaceful' – none of the other rowdy students had liked it up there, as it was way too small to hold a game and was way too easy to fall over the edge while running.

Besides, the stairs were many, and I doubted any of the students enjoyed climbing up such long flights of stairs. I walked and opened the door, listening to the annoyingly loud squeaks that the hinges of the door made.

The breeze was in my face as soon as the door was wide open. She was standing there, like I had almost expected – but she was on the other end of the railings. She was only holding on by gripping onto the railing that had barred me from falling all the other times.

She was smiling, as she tilted her head to look at me, a sad smile. The railing was up to my waist, so I could easily get over it and catch hold of her.

She spoke in a whispery undertone that I barely heard over the wind. "Hey, Luminous," she said, as she gradually loosened her grip on the railing. She had bright blue eyes, bright blue eyes that I myself had – I stopped in my tracks, fearing that she would let go as soon as I got close –

"Do you think I'm going mad?" she asks, and I didn't answer. She immediately slackened her grip on the railing, and soon was falling backwards. It was such a quick, deliberate action that I was struck with shock for a few seconds before I immediately leaped off after her.

Then for a few seconds as we fell, it was almost like… like I could catch her, like I could grab hold of her before we slammed into the ground – she had always relied on me to protect her against others –

Then she did, and crimson flashed across my eyes for a very brief second, then I did, and we were no longer falling – and then everything went black.

* * *

Waking up every single day alone was empty. Waking up in an empty home that had used to hold life – such precious life – walk into the room next door and attempt to wake up someone that just wasn't there anymore. We were – _were_ – one person, Lucia and I.

As we grew, I was the one that grew distant and cold, and she was the one that retained the warmth that I had eventually grown to hate. She was always – _always – _all smiles, always popular… and I was made fun of, because of the color of my hair.

How do you _smile_ so much? I don't get it – our life was _anything_ but happy, and the painful sadness that was emitted from this action struck me as… chilling.

She really should have been mean. It would have been so much easier to let go of her then. It would have been so much easier to justify my hate, would have been so much easier to push her away when I yelled at her to die.

I didn't mean it when I said that, I really, really didn't. I didn't mean for her to just go off and die just like that. We were siblings, and close just like that. Growing up just pushed us apart.

She had left the house that very night, and I ate and slept alone. It didn't matter to me then. Perhaps when she walked off the edge, she was actually expecting me to catch her, not stop and watch and end up too late.

Even after her death, I still found it so god damned hard. I kept hearing the echo of her comforting voice and seeing the echo of her face in my reflection – my _reflection_. Why did we have to look so alike… yet not…?

Could moving on really be that easy?

As I stood on the other side of the rooftop railing, it just seemed all-too-familiar. This was what happened to her then, wasn't it? I heard the door squeak open – wow, why didn't they fix that yet? – and I as I recognized who was entering, I almost stepped off right then. Why? Why did you have to come and see this -

No. No hesitation on my part here today. It felt so carefree, all so sudden, and I didn't feel caged by life anymore now that I had settled on what I wanted to do. He widened his purple eyes as he dropped whatever he was holding. "Get away from the edge," he demanded.

Echo. _Echo_. **_Echo. _**

You are in no place to be making demands. After all, I'm simply a reflection of _her_ in the end. She dies, I die. There's nothing to live for in the end… but you know that, don't you? Such annoyance… such brainless mimicry.

I never had a mindset of my own. I just followed hers, because she was the one that was way more sensible. He walked to me, then pauses just like I did, and I see the flicker of fear in his eyes, like what I had in my own blue eyes all those years ago.

I smirked at him – ah, key difference there – I was never social – as I spoke, slowly loosening my grip on the railing, and I was so sure that he noticed, but he didn't make a move – probably scared that I was push myself off immediately – _hah_ – I didn't have to deal with it anymore -

"Hey, Corvus… do you think… I'm going… mad…?"

Then I stepped off the edge just like she did, and I fell just like she did – and then he leaped off with me, trying to grab my hand – what are you _doing_, you pathetic idiot?

Cycling through these days, repeating these actions year by year, as we slam into the ground and then it was all just _black_ and then –

And then I felt no more.


End file.
